IT was something out of a story book, man meets man and live happily ever after. Not true. I met Ross through a cousin that was incarcerated. Ross was his workout partner. Tex is what we called him, I told him that I was looking for a penpal. That if he knew anyone that has a little decency that I wouldn't mind communicating with them. As the story goes, Tex gave Ross a letter with my information on it. There it started, every week I got a letter from him as I did the same for him.
We wrote each other for months, that was before I started accepting phone calls from him. Every saturday between 1 & 3 pm. I always made sure that I was at the house to get that phone call. I was working at a video store, but my weekend wouldn't be made until I heard from Ross. I used to tell him that he had a laugh like the mad hatter. I loved to hear him laugh. Then it happened, he said to me, just before the call ended, Ï love You!". My heart stopped for a few minutes. I broke out a smile and kindly said, "Ross, please don't say that unless you mean it". The called ended.
Time went by, just as the clock in the wall ticked, beating on a drum all of its own making. Ross was being released in a few weeks, he asked one thing of me. He asked if he could make a extra call to me if I didn't mind. Of course, that's not a problem. Well as timer grew short, we talked twice a week. I never cared about how high the bill got, as long as I got to talk to him. It was refreshing. I had talked to this man that I didn't even know, yet I felt that there was a connection between us.
Since I was 16 years old, I have had a job. I have always been employed. I've hit rough patches yet I have always made it out. I have always made it some way somehow. I'm a Leo, a fire sign. We are known for taking care of our families. Supporting our loved ones, through good and bad. I had made an invitation to come to Indiana, he had declined. I thought that, it's out the window. I felt as though I had lost my only friend. I very much enjoyed the conversations that we had, I so very much enjoyed the laughter to.
I was disappointed that he couldn't come to Indiana, yet I never gave up.
We had lost contact after his release, one day I was just bored out my head. On the computer screwing around and I ran his DOC number. Well what did I see, he was back in the Department of Corrections. For the same charge, new case but same charge. I grabbed some paper and dropped him a few lines. Week went by no reply. Wrote another letter, another one and yet another one.
I didn't hear back from him the whole time he was in there. I still hadn't given up on him. Time passed by and I had relocated. Not thinking about Ross at all, he fell in my spirit. I felt a strange urge to get in contact with him. So I did. Not knowing anything about him, his family or anything, I looked on social media. There I found him, he was on facebook, with a silly smile on his face. Now he has probably 4 or 5 facebook accounts. I tend not to follow them as they lead to many memories of sadness.
The last account that I have access to, or used to we had setup together. I remember we were on the phone with his mother, trying to get her to accept the friend request. He told me that he didn't remember setting up that account and that I was crazy. It was just like swimming, I had gotten us a membership at the YMCA, he always could out swim me. I just liked being in the water, and I figured that it was something to do besides get high. I didn't like getting high with him. I'll go into more details as why later.
Things with Ross has become very challenging, as Ross was new to Indiana and I was the only family that he had here. I was determined that I was not going to lose him to the streets. I tried hard to get Ross into some type of routine. Every corner I came to he fought me on it. He had a really good job at a company called Harland Bakery, he was making good money. I never asked him for anything but 1/3 on rent and utilities as all of us paid those bills. I don't think that he really liked paying bills. Child support was one that he was determined that he wasn't going to pay. A lousy 20 bucks a month, I could call out guys names that would have paid that faithfully. Ross, nope he was one to fight about that.
When I first invited him to Indiana he declined as he was
fighting for his kids from what I remember him telling me. He lost his rights to them, the mother gave them up. He was disgusted about that, but from what his ex-wives told me that he never did anything for them. He wasn't there for them and that about wraps that up. I had taken him to Port Clinton, I was suppose to leave him there. I couldn't do it. Nonetheless I met his daughter, she was sweet but she had her eyes below the prize. I guess like father like daughter. He didn't try to talk her out of anything, it just went on like the waters running deep. Paid no mind to it.
I met his mother, that was a joke in a half. She didn't like me from day one. Didn't care, I wasn't sleeping with her. She felt like our marriage was a joke and needed to be dissolved. She was sure that her son wasn't gay. Gay, bi, dl, whatever you want
to call it. He gave up ass and dick. Sounds gay to me.
I met his ex-wife, I never met the one that I divorced him from. Hell if I knew that he hated me so, I would have just left him married. Oh yes, I divorced him from his wife while he was incarcerated. He never set a foot in the courtroom. Everything was d
one via USPS. Thats how I did things. When I started something I followed it through. I still have copies of the decree in a file somewhere in the house.
I had enjoyed the visit to Port Clinton, I've been there a few times. He doesn't know it. I remembered all the times I asked him how he made it to Indy and I verified his story. His story had holes in it. There was no way that he got here like he stated. That was fine, I didn't need to confirm it until I realised that he was gone, never to return. I had to prove to myself that Ross was on bullshit and everything that was wasn't. It was the only way that I was able to see Ross for what he really was.
Like I said the start of things were good. Slow start but time started setting in, Ross wasn't willing to put in the work. He never talked about the relationship. He never had any input on anything. It was like whatever decision you make I'm good with that. So when I started making decisions without him he would get all beside himself. It was a problem then.
I loved Ross for a very long time. From the time he told me that he loved me over the phone. He was in Lebanon Correctional in Ohio. Really I thought that he was for real. I see that I WAS sadly mistaken! I tried to make him happy, I tried to do what was right by him, I tried everything under the sun. He was happier blowing the dope boy up the street, he was happier selling my information so people could have utilities in their name, he was happy fucking me over. He was happy doing nothing and letting me foot the bill. That made him h
appy, everybody else saw it but me. I was foolish, yet being so foolish, I was enjoying the company, the arguments and the peaceful times. One thing that I really liked about Ross was the aire of his walk. I loved watching him. I gave him his privacy when needed, but I like watching him. Ross was a hard one to love, yet I felt that everybody needed to experience love. I never had a lot of money, but I made ends meet and then some. Hell it didn't stop him from stealing from me. He'd take what he wanted when he wanted and I wouldn't know until after the fact.
Ross has told many people that I was the reason that he was on drugs, well that's just a bold face lie. The very first time that he saw me getting him, I stressed to him that he couldn't handle the effects of drugs. He was determined. He told me exactly that I wasn't his mother or father and that I couldn't tell him what to do! I just said you'll regret it. Don't think that I didn't try to get him help. many times. He would go to the interviews and just p
ut me out in the street. I lost a very good job because he told the interviewer that I was getting high. These were the same people that were offering to pay for his treatment. They fired me that day. I've lost a few jobs because of Ross. People just didn't like him, I was involved with him and I didnt care what people thought. He was with me the end. See even though I loved him, he didn't love me. I had refused to believe that he wasnt that type of man. If you asked me that today I would tell you the same thing. I love him and mind yours.
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